It is September and we are about a month away from our North Medicine Wheel. It
has been a month of things ... electronics and machinery breakdowns! … Car
starter, cell phone, computer charger, clothes drier, wall clock (temporary),
cell phone again (temp), vacuum.
First ... Personally,
I'm having a lot of problems around women recently ... strangers just picking
out at me, as well as at the work place and best of all, my mom! ... at this
time I felt like this has been my life long story, on and off! I've
had life long problems with women; need big help with that. I don't know if it
is ancestral / past life or some other pattern(s).
Regarding the issue around
women ... during the past few days I managed to do a sand painting and fire and
1-2 journeys. I first did a journey after I got too triggered by
this woman at work. In the first journey, I saw a dagger in my third
chakra. It went away after the journey; but I kept bringing it back. Even
after the fire ceremony, etc., I was still bringing it back. So,
yesterday, I did several clearings to release people stuck to me ... all were
men except for my mom. I've to see if I still continue to bring it
back.
In the West class, I did:
a) Past life clearing
journeys for three lifetimes:
· A lifetime when I held great power and abused
it
· A lifetime when I held no power and was abused
· A lifetime when I held great power and used it
wisely
After the west class, I
did a few past-life journeys and blew some of them into the stones... no gifts, I didn't get much info here; just had a few
glimpses.
b) Ancestral clearing for
three ancestors / close relatives who have passed on … my maternal and paternal
grandfathers and my favorite maternal aunt; I’ve called her ‘Tatamashi’ since I
was a kid. Using the 7, 7, 7 breathe, I go anti-clockwise and draw out the
attachment from the primary chakra (and from the joints and organs where I hold
them.
After the west class,
I've continued to do a lot of ancestral work. I’d managed to get a name list of
my paternal male ancestors, for the past seven generations, from my dad and I
went through the list and completed the process.
Ancestral ... I think of
an ancestor, blow him and his issues (traumas, heavy energies, bad experiences,
blockages) into one of the west stones. Then, using a pendulum,
I find the chakra most strongly affected by this ancestor. If the
attachment is too strong, I use the khuya and a twig (that I put in an sand
painting and then into an ancestral fire). Using the 7, 7, 7 breathe, I go
anti-clockwise and draw out the attachment from the primary chakra (and from
the joints and organs that I'm called to if I feel I have enough time / desire
to do that).
This is a good process and is OK to do with
myself; it is recommend that you do this in conjunction with a daily practice
of breath-work.
I've also tried using the
south method ... put the stone on the chakra and use a rattle to spin the
chakra anti-clockwise. Then, to finish it off, I journeyed to the
individual ancestor and asked spirit to offer him a healing and asked the
ancestor for a gift and brought it back with me in my womb; I didn't always
remember to blow the gift into a khuya after I got back.
Again, there is an inherent issue with doing
that type of work on yourself - you can't effectively be the client and the
shaman at the same time. It would be better for you to get a session with a
Shaman - let them show you where your issues really are and they will show you
how to work with them and your kuyas.
Secondly, this is a two
week period when ancestors are worshipped in my culture. So, I want
to do something (at-least one journey) around ancestral healing if my ancestors
agreed. I used the journey method taught to me by Katie W for this.
c) Shadow work … the
shadow process as we did in the West:
I made a list of three
people who irritate me most, list three qualities in each, etc. … These
qualities are all my shadow pieces.
I made a list of one
person who I admire most and list three qualities in that person. … These
qualities are all my shadow pieces too.
Homework:
Try repeating the shadow process we did in the
West:
Make a list of three people who irritate me
the most, list three qualities in each, etc.
c) Shadow work … the shadow process as we did in
the West:
I made a list of three people who irritate me
most; list three qualities in each, etc. … These qualities are all my
shadow pieces.
I made a list of one person who I admire most
and list three qualities in that person. … These qualities are all my
shadow pieces too.
Homework:
Try repeating the shadow process we did in the West:
Make a list of three people who irritate me the most; list three
qualities in each, etc.
The only effective shadow work since the west
was in a journey that I did… “Journey to heal and release a shadow piece that
is ready to be healed.” I didn't use my khuyas this time.
Shadow Work: This journey was done soon after my Medicine wheel of the west direction.
I opened sacred space. Then, I went to my
sacred Garden, called in my helping spirits and asked them to hold
sacred space.
Then I stated my healing intention to Angel
Cupid; I asked him to "Heal any shadow piece that is ready to be healed.” Then I got on my horseback
with angel Cupid seated behind me and we rode north. Very soon, we came across a
temple-like building. As I approached the structure, I found a part of me that was a
toddler about a few months old to a maximum of eighteen months old. She was turning blue and
black. I picked her up and flew on my horseback to Niagara-falls, to have
her cleansed. Soon after I put her in the river preceding the falls, she turned
into a black fish. At this point, my Mermaid helper appeared quite spontaneously. She sat facing west on a
rock by the waterfall and held the fish in her hand and cleansed it on a rock
under the waterfall. The black color changed to silvery white.
My inner child fragment was returned to me. Then,
Lidia, my mermaid helper, swam off into the river. I went into the river
trying to follow her, but she was too fast for me and she disappeared and I
returned back to my place of being.
After the West …(cont’d) … Shadows and
triangle of disempowerment in my mother / daughter relationship.
On receiving this email from Tomas Bostrom, my Medicine Wheel teacher, I thought back and remembered a time when I was walking with her. I saw my teachers coming from the other side and I walked as far away from her as I could in an attempt to disown her.
On receiving this email from Tomas Bostrom, my Medicine Wheel teacher, I thought back and remembered a time when I was walking with her. I saw my teachers coming from the other side and I walked as far away from her as I could in an attempt to disown her.
I was ashamed of being seen with her in public,
outside of Bengali circles, because she would wear the traditional Bengali
symbols of marriage, white conch shell and red coral bangles and sindoor.
On remembering this, I journeyed
(described below) to heal the shadow side.
I journeyed with the intention to heal
the shadow side that affects my mother / daughter relationship.
I went to my
sacred Garden, called in angel Cupid. Then I stated my
journey intention to Angel Cupid, “journey
to heal the shadow side that affects my mother / daughter relationship.
I came
to a forest. My power animal,
Jaguar, showed up. As I watched, I
noticed a thick black smoke rising from something like a vent in the floor of
the forest. It was on one
corner. I asked jaguar to help me
with the healing and the black smoke began to subside.
Then, at the
sound of the return beat of the drum, I came back to normal reality, back to my
room.
Was this a shadow issue? Or was it a triangle of disempowerment issue
(described below)?
d) Triangle of
Disempowerment:
Try to see where you are
a victim, or a perpetrator, or rescuer, and really own those pieces. My
sense is you will benefit a lot from working with the Triangle of
Disempowerment.
Try to see where you are a victim, or a
perpetrator, or rescuer, and really own those pieces.
Triangle of disempowerment issue…
I wanted to keep my husband as far away
from her as I possibly could. I was being my man’s rescuer here and a bully
(perpetrator) to my mother. I
was trying to save him from her because I truly believed that she would take
him away from me; and that is what ultimately happened! Now,
I was the victim.
