Journey to ask Lord Shiva to show me my ‘Mind.’

I was born with an eclipsed Moon and a retrograde Jupiter. This points to a tainted mind and tainted wisdom. Lord Shiva himself had once pointed out during a journey to meet my true self that I had a dirty mind. There was a lot of writings on my walls by other people among other things.

I went to mount Kailash. Lord Shiva was seated on his huge meditation rock. I stated my journey intention to Lord Shiva, “Lord Shiva, could you please show me my ‘Mind’.” I had intended to give my mind to him.

Then I waited for some time. Lord Shiva was still seated on his huge meditation rock; nothing seemed to be happening. I tried to split my soul part so it would show up and transform to the mind part; but this failed too. I noticed that all around us, in mount Kailash, there was a pitch black, night like darkness. The area around Lord Shiva and me was dimly lit by the presence of Lord Shiva himself. Lord Shiva worked on cleaning out this darkness in two repeats of the same journey. During the second time around, after a long time of clearing, a vision appeared. A forest appeared in the west side of my sacred garden, in the first layer of lower world with the sand beach. Then I saw a man wander through this forest. The man was not repulsive; he just looked like un-bathed and unkempt and lacked a sense of direction and urgency that I do not care a. He looked healthy otherwise. He was dark skinned, like the color of buffalo and he had a short beard and moustache and his hair was about four inches longer than those of us in civil society.

Next, I went back to mount Kailash. Lord Shiva was still seated on his huge meditation rock. I offered this man, who represented or was my mind, to Lord Shiva. I said to Lord Shiva, “Lord Shiva, I offer him (my mind) to you. Could you please give me a new mind, more like a woman.” I later realized that the mind is a male principle and probably therefore, represented by a man. Lord Shiva accepted my mind. He then put a half moon crown shaped sparkling white light over my head for a new mind.

Then, at the sound of the return beat of the drum, I came back to normal reality, back to my room.

// Friday, April 13, 2018.

A few days later I was shown that baby girl that represented my mind. I was visiting Lord Shiva at mount Kailash one day soon after I got my new mind. He had her on his lap, lying down like a baby. She was dressed in a pale yellow frock.

A week or two after that, I was thinking of Lord Shiva and in a not so sacred way for a few moments. Then I visited him at mount Kailash. I found Lord Shiva seated kneeling next to a four feet tall white Shivling, just like mine. He was bathing that baby girl’s head.  At this moment I realized that I’d have to be more careful with my thoughts and I decided to try to control them a little better.

// Saturday, July 21, 2018.